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Notify me of new posts via email. Click for a closeup look. Share this: Tweet. Like this: Like Loading Except for the close encounter in the thicket, we watch each other from across the pond.
Can you hire somebody to catch it for you? Stay tuned! I could never hurt a snake. But I could use your help in catching him! Very greedy snake.
Bad snake has to go away. Poor froggies in the lagoon he will soon inhabit. We need an update! Any luck getting rid of him?
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Name required. Martin sighed. But I didn't think you'd appreciate hitting a giant metal turtle at forty miles per hour, and I didn't think you'd fare much better hitting the water either; but I'm trained for it.
Besides, Chris caught you. Jimmy gasped suddenly and clapped his hands a few times as an idea struck him.
You've just invented a new game! Koki caught on and snickered. He's obviously light enough for you guys to toss around over decent distances.
Jimmy continued teasingly while Zach opened his mouth to protest and nothing really came out but nervous splutters.
Maybe we could hook up the badminton net on two sides of a river or pond, because tossing over water is essential in case someone drops him.
Koki, get a notepad! We need rules for this! Zach found his voice and seethed, stomping his foot for emphasis.
Zach held out both hands as if to strangle Jimmy, then growled and put them down again. He tried to speak calmly, which means that his tone was slightly less caustic than lye.
Koki's eyes widened in shock and then her face fell into a mask of annoyance and disappointment. I'll get the toolboxes.
It was probably not the best way to begin a conversation, but after being up all night with Koki trying to get both the Tortuga and the Manta Riders in working order again it was as polite as he was capable of being at the moment.
Zach was about ready to storm out and leave these idiots to deal with their own problems and intended to tell Aviva at great length about how stupid she was for working with them to begin with.
A good rant would do wonders for his ability to sleep the morning away, which was exactly what he would need considering Jimmy would be taking the shift to supervise him and he wasn't certain how well he would be able to sleep through the video game noise.
Unfortunately he would have to wait for her to call him on the station first and that had occasionally failed to happen in the past few days.
Martin had called the hospital in a panic once and discovered that Aviva was just asleep and the nurses had taken her computer and creature pod away from her to make sure she would stay that way.
As predicted, Aviva was not easily separated from her technology for long. Aviva's video didn't come on for a sufficiently irritating period of time, but she eventually answered.
She was pale and looked as if an animal had recently tried to build a nest out of her hair.
When she saw Zach and sensed his frustration she answered with a little grin that absolutely did not belong on someone that ill.
There went his 'I quit' speech. Now that she had issued the challenge, however, Zach would be damned if he was going to quit.
She'd be insufferably pleased about it forever. Aviva put her chin in her hands and smugly regarded him in a way that made him want to reach through the screen and strangle her.
She lazily used her left hand to pluck out her next message while the right continued to rest under her chin. Undoubtedly she thought she was cute.
Zach disagreed. The second challenge made him bristle. Your codes are too easy to amuse me for long! If nothing else he hoped hanging up on his rival would sufficiently infuriate her to cause another coughing fit.
His plan blown by a combination of pride, poor planning, and lack of sleep, Zach headed toward the Tortuga's exit to the sanctuary of his jet.
On the way there he encountered more stupid than he was prepared to deal with. We'll order you a new controller, ok?
The entire Wild Kratts team was standing around their Pilot, who was sitting in a near-fetal position and clutching his controller.
His eye was twitching and he didn't reply, at least not coherently. Koki had her hands over her mouth in worry, but took them down to speak.
When he tried using it this morning there was a click and nothing would respond. Over the next several minutes Zach repaired the controller, which had honestly just been the victim of normal wear and tear, and gave it back to Jimmy.
The avid gamer was instantly happy again and hugged it like it was a stuffed animal. After the fiasco the day before and Zach's subsequent foul temper from his now very skewed sleeping schedule the Wild Kratts used the next day to plan a new mission, restock, and check up on Aviva.
Zach stayed in his jet and worked on projects for other clients after being told he had a day off, but he went back into the Tortuga after he was finished to see if anything had gone horribly awry while he was otherwise occupied.
It wouldn't have surprised him. It was dark by the time he went to do this. He correctly assumed that everyone would either be asleep or preparing to go to bed and Jimmy was already asleep in his jet after Zach's working schedule apparently passed his naptime.
Zach answered the beeping console and raised a brow when Aviva's tired face displayed. Her hair was properly brushed and tied back, she was wearing enough makeup to give her somewhat of a normal skin tone but not enough to be obvious, and she was dressed in red silk pajamas that Zach assumed her mother had brought to make her more comfortable in the hospital.
She even had earrings in. Aviva let out a frustrated sigh and immediately changed the subject. It's a courtesy. So thanks. I don't trust him using buttons he isn't familiar with.
If I didn't fix the controller I was afraid he'd accidentally send any future discs to Mars. I'm supposed to resist coughing if at all possible, so I shouldn't talk until the sore throat and congestion goes down.
It definitely seems to be getting better. I can take deeper breaths. Zach huffed. I don't know how much longer I can stand working with these people.
I gotta admit though, working on those genetic codes is pretty fun. I can see why you like doing it. I'm actually looking forward to an amphibian code.
I mean… some of those 'living fossil' things Koki told me about, like the Tuatara, have between five and six billion base pairs in the DNA sequence, and humans only have a little over three billion base pairs.
As certain instructions become redundant in relation to the rest of the code they don't get written into the new version.
Aviva sat up straighter and pulled up some video from an earlier Wild Kratts mission to observe Crocodiles. She displayed relevant bits of video while explaining in a different text window.
It's vaguely like setting the temperature on an oven when making a pizza; for crispier crust you cook it at a higher temperature for a shorter period of time, and for softer crust you use a lower temperature over a longer period.
Different enzymes are released at different temperatures to create different genders. Besides that there's the temperature control of the creature itself, which requires lots of different enzymes at different temperatures too, the code to make the hard egg, the instinct to bury them and how and where… all that has to be in the genome for the animal to survive and reproduce.
But when you grow mammals, except for the Platypus and Echidna which still lay eggs, the babies are grown inside the mom. The oven temperature is standard and already controlled by a separate section of the sequence regarding maintaining core temperature in the adult.
So when it comes time to grow the baby the oven is always going to be the same; the recipe doesn't need to note what chemicals are needed to make what gender depending on how hot or cold things get, and there are no codes needed on how to make the hard eggs able to survive outside because the baby stays inside the mom until it can survive without external support.
As evolution progressed toward mammals certain instructions became redundant and since they weren't needed anymore they got eliminated from the recipe, shortening the genome.
This process happened in lots and lots of little ways until it took only about half of the code to make a mammal rather than a reptile.
If you really think about it all organisms are sort of like molecular computers. Your inventions might work a lot better if you based them on animals rather than using the animals themselves.
It would be easier now that you have a better idea of how the animals actually work and how they relate to things you're already good at.
Zach crossed his arms and sat back in the chair, giving her a suspicious look. Blue Boy thought as much, too.
It won't work. With the Praying Mantis arms, remember? There's no way that tiny mantis you had in your vest was actually powering those arms.
I'll bet you just had it there for decoration and you figured out how to make the mantis arms work roughly the same way I did for the Creature Power Suit.
Letting you see my inventions, the things I can do with animal abilities, isn't letting you steal. It's just advancing the inevitable.
You would have figured it out on your own eventually and we both know it. I'm trying to help you develop it.
Is it really so bad working this way; making things without using the animals themselves? If nothing else programs and machines are easier to deal with directly.
Zach stared at her for a long moment before seeming to melt back into the chair wearily. Aviva smiled and nodded appreciatively.
You always did understand facts and numbers easier than people or nature. For a while," Zach said accusingly. There was a strained pause while they stared at each other.
Favorite color, number and all that? That six you used to hack my Zachbots represented something else. You got lucky is all. Aviva shook her head.
That was really all it was, Zach. We just got along in one specific way that nobody else could offer me at the time.
I was worried if I told Martin we used to date he'd think I would only be interested in technology-oriented people. Zach considered being angry about that, but it wasn't as if she'd said she was ashamed of him or anything, and the reason did sort of make sense.
He's the slightly smarter one. That's just the way it happened. I was really trying to keep my relationships professional, but Martin sort of started the whole thing.
Aviva sighed. Not any that were remotely at our level," Zach blurted acidly, then frowned and turned away. The accidental compliment had surprised both of them.
As he passed the bathroom on the way back from Martin's compartment he heard the distinctive sound of glass shattering. After only a minor silent hissy fit which consisted largely of clenching his fist and dancing in place like an epileptic he knocked on the door and wearily asked, "What was that?
Where's the spare mirror? Koki had cleaned up the glass and gone to town before Zach got back the next day, but he still went to check on it anyway.
Of the Kratts Team he was the most tolerant of Koki; she researched the animals for him, knew where the maintenance stuff and tools were, and generally cleaned up her own messes.
On that last note Jimmy seemed make a lot of messes, but cleaned the ones he made as well as other people's messes too if the Zachbots didn't get to them first.
Zach grumbled to himself as he worked on repairing Aviva's Invention Kit, or what now qualified as a Mobile Disc Generator.
He planned to have it functioning again as a backup before something happened to Aviva's station; which was very likely at the rate these nature-loving people destroyed things, albeit unintentionally.
After only seven days Zach had experienced two unnerving epiphanies. One, he had a new, deeper respect for Aviva and the work she did here and; two, a certainty that she already knew what it would feel like to be a single mother of four children under the age of five.
As time passed he felt less annoyed by their constant supervision of him and more relieved that at least one of them would be in his line of sight at all times, thus allowing him to figure out who had broken what more easily.
The prime suspects were always blue or green. Martin was doing a similar list for fishing, diving, and general water-related things.
Zach just growled and made a conspicuously worse amount of noise while he worked in the hopes of distracting the lounging Kratts.
There was no discernible reaction until Zach tried to turn the thing over to work from a different angle and strained to do so.
He gave up quickly and had a Zachbot turn it over instead. They were silent until Zach needed it turned again and his Zachbot was off cleaning some windows.
Zach tried to move it himself quietly enough for the Kratts not to notice and failed when his fingers slipped and he dropped it just enough to make a small thud.
Gritting his teeth out of frustration only had the undesirable effect of making it look like Zach was struggling to lift the device even more than he already was.
Going back to work now that a different Zachbot had finished its assigned chore and was available to help, Zach muttered, "Sometimes it really is obvious which of you is older.
I really meant it! Chris was waiting on the other side. Martin rolled his eyes at him. After the drop the Kratts started searching for their next animal; the Tree Kangaroo.
They had to walk a ways past the tree line in order to get far enough to find them. Unfortunately they found a different animal first.
Or rather it found them. Chris was sitting on a fallen log, hand on his right knee and wincing due to the puncture wounds halfway up his calf.
Can't do that. Martin rushed over and knelt down, wincing when he saw the bit of fluid that was very much not blood oozing out of the bite.
Martin quickly called the Tortuga on his Creature Pod, getting a little shaky when the first call was not answered. Chris nodded and took a deep breath.
He slid off the log and lay back against it. Staying calm was vital. Neither of them touched the bite. For Australian snakes that was a bad idea.
This certainly wasn't the first bite the Kratt brothers had suffered and they knew what to do, but it was the first time help had been so far away After the drop, HQ was going to go ahead to the next town to resupply.
It slithered off after biting me. It looked kind of disappointed. Guess I wasn't what it was looking for.
Instead of the Tortuga he called Jimmy's Creature Pod and set his own down to let it ring on speaker while he took off his jacket and started cutting it into wide strips with his pocketknife.
As Martin wrapped the strips around the entirety of Chris's leg Jimmy's pod rang three times before it was finally answered. Zach's voice answered instead, causing both brothers to look down in confusion.
They went to go shopping or something. What is so important you had to wake me up? Shut up and be still," Martin ordered sharply.
He grabbed the pod and stared down into Zach's surprised image gravely. Chris has been bitten by a venomous snake and needs treatment as soon as possible.
We're too far out for emergency services to get here quickly and there is antivenin on the Tortuga.
I'm sending our location. All of the needed equipment should be in the kit. Do you understand? Shouldn't we get your friends or take him to a hospital?
Martin grit his teeth. YOU have to bring it. The label on the antivenin should say Acanthophis or Death Adder. If we have more than one vial bring all of them.
I'll start carrying Chris that way and try to get out of the woods so you can see us better. Zach seemed to be handling the situation well, despite the creature pod screen shaking a bit.
I'll be on my way with the jeep. Martin sent the text and put his Creature Pod back on his wrist, then knelt with his back to his brother.
As they headed out of the forest Chris could tell Martin was tense. But I think it was the other way around. The chances of dying from a Death Adder bite with treatment is very low and we have time.
Try not to be all overprotective and stuff, ok? Martin kept walking, answering when spoken to and keeping his mind on moving as far and as fast as he could without tiring out completely.
He wouldn't be much help if he collapsed. When they reached the tree line and passed out into an open area Chris was feeling nauseous and dizzy, but thus far hadn't experienced any symptoms of paralysis.
Sometimes it took a good number of hours for paralysis to set in. Will you answer if I start calling you 'Thing One'? Martin did stop then, looking around.
He knelt and set Chris down. I was trying to save time by going in a straight line to the Tortuga instead of taking the same path we did before.
Chris groaned gratefully for the moment of stillness and tried to settle his stomach. Chris opened his eyes and groaned again, trying not to get scared.
Martin swore and set Chris down, looking into the distance. We're climbing down. Martin ignored it and took the rope out of Chris's backpack.
By the time Zach arrived and hour later they were only halfway down and safe on a small ledge, but Martin was well past the ability to do much more.
Chris was having trouble making his hands respond and had been told to lie still until they could continue down. He was draped over a rock and facing the shade on the inside of the cliff face since the light was making his headache terrible.
Zach gritted his teeth as he looked up at them from below. Paralysis is starting to set in! Zach did a swift burst of mental arithmetic on the distance and the fragility of the container.
He didn't like the results. One ends with 12 and the other It won't do Chris any good if I came all this way just to break his medicine all over a bunch of rocks!
As he had left the Tortuga he had tossed the antivenin kit in the first backpack he saw, which had nothing in it; so no help there.
Suddenly an idea occurred to him and he ran back to the Createrra, which had some things covered by a tarp in the back. He yanked the tarp away and grinned when he saw a Tranquilizer Gun glimmering invitingly in the harsh sun.
He might have to save the green guy from his own idiocy but at least he got to have fun doing it. Just a few modifications and-.
The little metallic clinks as Zack tinkered with the components in the tracker gun alerted the dizzy Kratt, who strained to listen through the buzz in his ears.
Martin's eyes widened as comprehension dawned. Luckily Chris's face was still facing away from the light and he couldn't see his brother's uh-oh face.
Just stay still. Deftly Zach began filling the tranquilizer cartridge with the antivenin and stuck it in the specialized pressure chamber.
Mentally congratulating himself on actually being allowed to shoot a Wild Kratt, Zach took aim. Martin covered his eyes.
Chris's offended and pained shout was music to his ears and sent birds flying away from nearby trees in a panic. Martin fought to repress a smile as he took his hand off his eyes and examined the makeshift dart protruding from the left side of his brother's backside.
He failed horribly. You're gonna' be alright, bro. Zach scoffed and threw down the tranquilizer gun that he now had to revert before Aviva got back.
Okay, I am well aware that snake antivenins should be administered intravenously not intramuscularly, but Aviva already did it too in 'Gila Monster Under My House'.
Gila Monster venom is a neurotoxin, much weaker than but similar to that of Coral Snake venom, thus it would be treated the same way as snake venom would if Gila Monster venom warranted it — it's very rarely fatal.
But instead of an IV she gave Zach an injection, so I feel like I can get away with that sort of inaccuracy in a fanfiction based on a show where they already got it wrong in canon.
Besides; the joke was just too good to miss. Chris sort of deserved it. Also, I don't think some people realize how bad nature, and the people that love to spend lots of time in it, can smell.
Can anyone imagine what Aviva must have smelled like after hibernating all winter, in a hole in the ground, burning off "energy" fat stored in her groundhog suit?
What about Chris and Martin after they get back from the desert after sweating, carrying around a koala, and running from coyotes non-stop for two days?
I'm sure everyone remembers the Skunk episode. They spent an awful lot of time around decaying carcasses and fetid food in 'Tazzy Chris', too.
He had been lounging around the Tortuga all morning secure in the knowledge that not only did the Kratts Team owed him BIG TIME but there would also be nothing urgent to occupy his brilliant mind besides designing Varmitech Industries' next catalog.
Of course, he turned out to be wrong by ten when the Bros came back from the hospital irritatingly soon. That makes it sound like a somewhat pathetic snake.
Chris made his way over to a chair with Martin's entirely unnecessary help and sat down, looking tired but composed. The moment Zach turned back to his laptop he mimed aiming at the back of the tech mogul's head with a slingshot and fired several times.
Koki brought Chris one of Jimmy's cookies and punched him gently on the shoulder. She then went to her station to look it up and raised a brow.
Zach scoffed, unaware of the number of imaginary pellets hitting him. Koki sighed and brought Martin some coffee.
It looked like he needed it. No doubt he had been up most of the night while Chris was still in the danger zone.
Obviously the issue of knowing the hunting strategies and dangers of animals comes up from time to time. It's really not that complex and knowing your way around the First-Aid kits is never a bad idea.
I ordered more of that antivenin, by the way. Now you can't accuse me of not replacing it. Both Chris and Martin gave him surprised looks.
Koki stared. Yes," he said simply. Jimmy offered Zach his plate of cookies as he passed by, but Zach waved him off.
Jimmy put the cookies in the microwave and turned back to the Teleporter. It'd save a lot of time on grocery trips!
Zach crossed his arms. The sheer amount of calories you consume a day with neither weight gain nor apparent illness suggests it just disappears.
Zach stared after him in amazement as Jimmy happily went back to the cockpit. He looked to Koki with concern and motioned after him urgently in a clear, 'what's wrong with him?
And I agree with you. No more people in the Teleporter. He completely missed the interesting looks he got for saying 'thank you', as if the Kratts legitimately believed that phrase wasn't in his vocabulary.
Now if only I could get you guys to stop following me like I'm a kleptomaniac this job might be more bearable. As he worked he included two preliminary animal-themed machines he had concocted the previous night that didn't actually use any animals.
It would have to do for a trial-run. Aviva would surely be browsing his online catalog, but the ones he sent to his regular customers on paper would give him a good idea of possible sales rates without alerting her to his doing it.
Chris's eyes narrowed in clear offense once the last statement finally registered. If I break the contract I won't get paid — and seeing the looks on your faces when you have to write out all those zeroes on my check will be worth more than anything I could steal from you," Zach said in a terrifyingly cheerful manner.
And the best part is I didn't even have to change anything! Aviva doesn't claim that time, does she?
I will. Martin face-palmed so hard it echoed through the Tortuga and Chris mimed strangling Zach with a furious scowl. Undaunted, he continued.
She's not even collecting what her own contract warrants. Zach got in one last shot before he pushed the button to send out his catalog.
Compensation for work-related injuries is included, due immediately. Zach grinned. Try not to really tick her off. I'm interested in witnessing the fallout.
Zach raised a mocking brow, but the familiar nervousness was definitely present in his posture as he went back to his work in silence.
Still, it was clear he had won that round. Koki brought Chris a magazine and sat down at her station. Few lights were on and a good amount of nighttime light came through the sunroof due to the big moon which was close to full, though Zach hardly paid attention to the sky anyway; if he did he would have noticed the big square dark patch on the sun roof.
He was alone and doing his work without interruption or company; the Kratts seemed to have taken his word for it when he said he wanted their money more than their stuff and Zach wasn't sure if he should be relieved or annoyed about that.
The Kratts had spent all day flying to what they called 'a prime location' for whatever they were preparing for later that night despite having clearly said they were giving Chris time to get better before doing anything creaturely.
Most of the team had spent a good deal of the day alternately napping and getting things ready for what he assumed was a nighttime picnic, which conveniently gave Chris plenty of time to rest and recover from the lingering after-effects of his snake bite.
Zach had no idea why they would even want to have a picnic this late, but the Wild Kratts never made much sense to him regardless and he had not been concerned enough to ask.
It was about mid-august and Zach very much lamented that it was so hot since he never wore anything but black.
He had relented and taken off his signature turtleneck but still had a long-sleeved black shirt on, if only a normal cotton one.
It wasn't as if he had to dress particularly classy to work with these outdoorsy people. It had been a languid, slow day, for which Zach was thankful after the hectic week before.
Around noon Jimmy had suggested Zach take a nap. Why that had been presented at all was a mystery to him but Zach wasn't about to argue it.
They hadn't even woken him until three for an early dinner, which he also didn't question because he was still too drowsy to care.
Currently he was pleasantly relaxed and winding down from the day without actually being tired. There was only so late he was willing to work, though, and 11 pm was plenty.
Zach shut Aviva's station down, closed his laptop, stood and stretched. He reached out and flipped the light switch off, as the last person to leave was obligated to do, and the room went black.
For a moment Zach waited for his eyes to adjust before moving — the switch was near the entry to the passage downstairs, which was a logical placement unless you didn't plan to sleep in the actual Tortuga and had to go across the room to the exit.
Martin, who had been outside for a while already and had eyes pre-adjusted to the dark, appeared out of the shadows like freaking Dracula and scooped Zach up over his shoulder.
After the initial startled shriek Zach gave up and went limp once he realized who it was. What are you doing?
Chris and Jimmy reached out and helped Zach climb up, which he allowed since he obviously wasn't being given a choice.
Now the nap made a lot more sense. Martin came up next and shut the screen behind him to keep the most annoying insects out.
Zach sighed and sat down on the blanket they had placed, which had a gripping surface on the bottom to keep it steady on the glass and made Zach less nervous about being up there.
He knew the glass was plenty strong to hold them with no problem, it was just seeing the floor so far below him that made him anxious.
Everyone else was wearing shorts and short sleeves due to the weather; even the Kratt brothers had their trademark color-coded jackets tied around their waists instead of wearing them.
Zach pulled at his collar uncomfortably. He might have been able to handle the ninety degree temperatures if it wasn't so humid too.
He felt like he was trying to breathe steam. After spending his trip up here in near complete darkness because his eyes hadn't adjusted the big, bright moon was an unusual but welcome sight to him.
There were no cities around and he could only see the faintest glimmer of a small town in the far horizon.
Aside from the sounds of the insects and occasional animal call it was also very quiet. Apparently the Kratts didn't believe in music at their parties.
We've just got to make due or we'll miss it. Chris smiled and held out a plate Jimmy had brought up with chocolate cupcakes covered in star-shaped sprinkles.
Tonight is the peak. We've seen a bunch already, but Koki insisted we didn't interrupt you while you were working.
Zach took one of the cupcakes and looked up and stared for only a few irritated seconds. Jimmy tapped his shoulder and pointed halfway up the sky.
Give your eyes a while to adjust and the meteors will start to show up. The moon makes it hard to see the fainter ones, but we're far enough away from the city that the brighter lights are still visible.
She stretched and lay back on the blanket, staring out where Jimmy had pointed. Zach sighed and took a bite. He almost winced at how sweet it was — Jimmy had apparently done the frosting homemade instead of buying the less intense pre-mixed containers from a store and the powdered sugar made his teeth hurt for a moment before he got used to it.
Resigned to a boring evening, Zach reached into his pocket and pushed a button to summon a Zachbot. It arrived quickly and both of its arms retreated inside its body only for a different set with fans attached to appear instead.
Rather than complaining about the slight whirring noise Jimmy and Koki moved closer to Zach, much to his annoyance, to share his artificial breeze.
Koki elbowed him in the side lightly. Just wait. Haven't you ever seen a meteor shower before? Matin chuckled. She's sad to miss it, but she did tell me you missed the one you were supposed to see at camp because you were sick that week.
Just then two bright streaks of light flew across the sky and Zach stopped like someone had hit his off switch.
The Zachbot's head moved to exactly the same direction and its eyes blinked out for a moment before going very still. Though the fans continued going, the Zachbot never removed its gaze from where its master stared.
The others had been there a while and ran out of snacks, so they left Zach and Jimmy there while they went to get more. They paused at the hatchway to smile at Zach, who hadn't budged.
He was completely transfixed, waiting patiently for the next fleeting light. I guess he can be interested in nature, but given his personality we really should have guessed that his specific area of interest would have nothing to do with animals or the environment.
I really wanna try this place, you have no idea. He glanced up from the gauntlet he was trying to salvage. What do you need? He even rested both elbows on the table to show his hands were completely empty and he was not at all distracted.
Clint was still not looking at him, though. He was putting on a good show of it, looking near his face but not at it, Tony could tell.
It reminded him, actually. The weight and power-bearing base silently rose up out of the floor to meet it. Once they met and the load was steady, the bars that had held it inside the ceiling retracted.
Two screws and the inner chest panel released. From there he finagled springs and slides a bit until he could pop the arc reactor security cap off.
Once it was free, he slid it up his chest, under his shirts. A twist and click and suddenly he had a third pectoral that glowed a gentle gold.
When he turned back around the Hawk did a double take. Clint slumped and closed his eyes in something like self-directed shame.
Mind Control. She was… programmed? I guess. As a kid. Helping her move past that kinda…prepared me, you could say. Spy thing, Tony assumed.
And the Chitauri had him noodling on another couple dozen. Fucking Sitwell. Nat was a lesbian. So, we were wondering if you wanted to play.
Tony raised an eyebrow. Just, jeez. And second, May would skin alive me for propositioning her husband. Strangle me with my own balls.
They got married by Spock. Clint grinned. I know you got a thing about being handed stuff—which makes sense with a gaping hole in your chest and all—so I imagine playing with ass is a no-no for you too?
Just a little. Tony popped up off of his stool and headed to one of the storage bins in the corner. He pulled out a discrete black box and placed it on the worktop in front of Clint.
Cautiously, like it was a bomb or something, Clint opened the box. He missed, but Tony decided to allow it. Then you can play with it all afternoon, if you want.
After everything Clint told him about Kink Monster Sharon, the pretty little blonde that stepped off his elevator was not what he expected.
Clint—who, of course, knew—just laughed. A day? But left this? I just need to pick something clear to fill it in with. Might be time to get on with inventing transparent aluminum.
I made gold titanium happen. And black adamantium. Like, really assured him. There was nothing mocking or mean in his tone at all.
Which, fair. They were in the presence of a spy that may or may not actually be on their side, after all. Everyone knows everything, and no one has seen Loki or Director Fury since he left the Helicarrier to come to Stark Tower.
A typical spy answer that established her connection to Clint while giving away no real facts. Like how many years ago that was.
My recruitment was, uh, complicated and they wanted me in the field as quickly as possible. It took about five years before they nailed me down and made me go to the Academy.
Sharon shrugged, not bothered by the implied censure. Clint shrugged. My safeword is red. Clint blushed, all sweet and demur. Who was this creature?
As you can see, praise kink is his most extreme kink. He can honest-to-god come, with permission, just from sincere praise. One that he will win.
Yeah, he loves that. If his voice was a little hard, he was sure he could be forgiven. Tried to play it off that he knew me better than I did.
He waited to tell me that until I was tied up during our fifth session. I know where that was going.
Mostly because he meant it, but also so he could see Clint go all flushed and pleased again. The way he straightened told Tony that her toes were absolutely exploring his balls.
He stopped to consider that. She shivered at the command. Giving it especially, though he liked getting a little every once in a while.
There is some exhibition inherent in a three-person scene, but I can manage in this instance. Something suspicious was going on.
I expect to see yours before we begin. She immediately pulled her purse off the back of her chair and handed him a crisp white envelope.
He would return the favor, but their test results were on the sideboard. After dinner, Clint adamantly refused to miss the new episode of Game of Thrones.
He was more cute than sassy about it, and letting the food settle was probably a good idea, so Tony allowed it. He sat on one end of the couch while Clint took the other.
Visually, it was freaking gorgeous and the character lines were complex and engrossing. The Freys are a really good ally for the Starks to have.
If the Lannisters can disrupt that alliance marriage, especially if they can do it in a way that brings the Freys right back to the Lannisters, that would be a pretty big win for them.
All the intrigue is just like being at work! None of those fuckers could touch me. How are you going to keep her and her dragons from taking the throne from Tyrion?
He walked over to the white wingback Pepper insisted he needed and crooked his finger at her. Obediently, she wandered over. Then he picked up her knees one at a time and draped them over the arms of the chair.
He flipped up her skirt to reveal nothing but her pretty, bare flesh underneath. He glanced over to see Clint watching with wide, hungry eyes.
His pants followed and they all ended up in a somewhat sloppy pile on the couch. The archer walked over to them nude and hard but he looked to Tony before doing anything else.
Only then did he get to work. And it was a beautiful thing to watch him work. He was not shy at all about getting right in there, with his mouth and nose.
He obviously did not waste his previous sessions with Sharon, because her legs were shaking within moments. Clint shouted against her pussy and had to pull back a second to breathe but got back to work fairly quickly.
As Sharon shook through her first orgasm, he cut the vibrator off. Once her breathing was a little more regular, Tony waved at her in a gesture to continue.
Clint readily obeyed. It was very effective, got both subs shivering in no time. Not his bedroom. One night stands never got access to his actual bedroom.
Clint at least might actually get access to his real bedroom after tonight. Tony took one wrist, cuffed it and lifted it into position.
He looped the attached chain through one of the bars in the headboard and cuffed the other wrist. When Clint returned with the chains, Tony secured her with her legs spread wide and her slit exposed.
Tony smacked his ass for the cheek and shook his head even though he was nothing other than amused. The grin did not go away as Clint readied himself for battle and climbed onto the bed.
Or when he looked at Tony for instructions. Both subs groaned and shivered as Clint obeyed. It was hard to tell because it was smaller, more hidden from his view than her previous orgasms, but he was fairly certain Sharon came again just from finally being penetrated.
The man nodded and started moving in time to it. Once he was sure Clint had gotten it down, he opened his pants and slid on the condom.
Staying dressed and mostly put together while his both of his submissives fell apart did something for him that was hard to define but he still enjoyed it.
Sharon definitely noticed his proximity but Clint was too far gone to do more than mind his rhythm as Tony teased at the plug still sitting in what Clint had called his cunt.
Tony got all the way inside and let Clint take his entire weight. They had bathed him together, but he needed food and probably a million bottles of water before Tony could allow him to sleep.
Once they had some semblance of privacy, he focused on her. She sort-of deflated and bowed her head. And you have the right to it.
The elevator dinged as they got to it. He took one look at Sharon who still looked rather rode hard and put up wet despite their wash up and froze.
You sticking around? Steve shot him a confused look then shook his head. Maybe next time. After all, aftercare was serious business. Clint shoved his own plate in front of the guy, returned his nod of thanks, and got back to work.
Specifically, who shot that goddamn nuclear missile at New York City? Nobody knows this. Nobody knew that nobody knew this, either.
I mean, yes. Clint cleared his throat and the conversation cut off immediately. He risked a glance over to see everyone staring at him.
They chose people from each of their countries to form the World Security Council. How were the current members chosen?
Tony took a deep breath and let himself process. A private corporation that I own. A private corporation established to find Steve Rogers.
Everything gets liquidated or folded back into the parent company. Fury was trying to bore me into desk work. She took missions very seriously and was just starting to really find herself.
Personal opinions were still pretty optional for her. Saying no to dirty orders was probably still a good ten years in her future. Clint smirked.
It was a weak effort, but he tried. All three of us have for a while. The very idea was infuriating. Start with their retirement fund, corroborate that the recipients are actually alive.
If they belong to me, I have every right to everything they have and I want it all. Tony traded speaking glances with Rhodey.
But tell her I want her security doubled. Rhodey nodded and pulled his phone. Tony pointed at him. Who they are, where they are, where they came from, what their agenda is.
Everything you can. Cap and Bruce, too. It was quite a talent. I should have died too, but my mutation kicked on instead. Still lost most of my hearing and got discharged, though.
Just enough to have a badass immune system and lose my human rights if that thing passes. You made it through the Invasion—where you were injured, there was blood on and holes in your uniform.
They can change settings for a whole shit load of reasons. Not just one way, either. Mortal danger can take it up, emotional trauma takes it down.
Which he did. Coulson raised both eyebrows at him. You were a bunch of dynamite sticks. Who was better to deal with a group of hotheads about to explode, a man that could order you to calm down and make it stick or a woman that radiated threat even when painting her nails and chewing bubblegum?
I mean, not that your trauma has affected your performance, obviously. You kicked so much alien ass! You were an alien ass kicking machine!
It was impressive. Tony made a mental note to look into that later, because a math degree? Tony did not have a good feeling about this.
Well, only one way to find out. I was held in a cave and tortured for months because I was betrayed by my own godfather.
People are the worst. May had a guy explode because she breathed on him. Being experimented on by scientists? Losing your best friend, not once but twice.
Three times, if his shipping out without you counts, and I have to think it does. We all are. Professor Xavier helped me get a handle on my gifts.
Now, instead of just feeling things and knowing things, I see them. Which is like an animal representation of your soul? The movie is cute, watch it if you want, but avoid the book at all costs.
But instead of following you around, what I see is more like a ghostly overlay. Like a cloak or armor. Sort of. Tony snapped his fingers and pointed at her.
That looks like an animal. Emotional connections. Love is pretty obvious, actually. Not just romantic love either, huh. I can also tell when someone is lying or up to no good.
A psychopathic sadist or something. Tony glared at him without any real heat to it. Which, hilarious.
So is Bruce. A Peregrine Falcon, actually. Like a collar sort of? Not really but, somehow, I got the feeling that whatever it was is controlling him.
Rhodey sighed. General Hammond. He can get a team of specialists here, and we can verify one way or the other.
Either way, Cap and Clint both nodded their agreement while Coulson looked studiously focused on not rolling his eyes. J, let him in.
Was just doing my part to vaccinate. Again, I should say. And if his house burned down because his car was parked in his garage when it happened?
And Tony was left alone in his kitchen with five very confused teammates. They all looked at him, clearly waiting for him to speak.
How long have they been trapped? Are you going to give them bodies? Why would I seek the limitations of a humanoid body?
Someone other than me and Rhodey treating them like real people. Even Pepper struggles with it sometimes.
I have some of the information I was asked to retrieve as well as a big problem. Jack entered and took the seat, body language completely at ease.
Their jurisdiction and authority come directly from the United Nations. That committee is the World Security Council. Unlike several officers that we both could name, I have no interest in putting you in a position to resign your commission.
There is more I need to tell you, but I feel the need to warn you this is a sensitive matter. George considered that. The number of people mutating in the wake of the Chitauri Invasion was staggering.
Yes, sir. I request you send SG-1 here to help deal with the matter. That is the law, sir. The only one of the so-called Avengers it would really effect was—Huh.
There is a helipad on the roof they can use. Unfortunately, the roads around the Tower will be impassable for months. That leaves him with two choices.
On the one hand, he can close out the corporation and either absorb or liquidate assets. On the other, he can reformulate the mission statement and the business can carry on.
Fury knows everything. All the secrets from all the major players. Additionally, sir, I would err on the side of excessive honesty, if you want this to have any chance of falling out your way.
I will brief the President. If you learn anything else critical, contact me immediately. SG-1 will be in the air within the hour.
They disconnected and he focused on Jack who jumped to his feet. Get the team together. The Iron Man suit in front of him copied the move.
And he seemed to honestly think it was cool. No mocking. No derision. Curious, Tony stepped around the display to look at the tray Clint was carrying.
Two thick sandwiches with visible meat and vegetables, a bowl of chips, and a French press full of the Elixir of Life.
Or, you know, coffee. I figured two birds, one stone. I work for the Maria Stark Foundation now. I was waiting for the finalized charter before mentioning the issue.
And neither you, nor Stark Industries, gain anything from the experience. Get Pep on a line of official Avengers merchandise. Maybe open a new scholarship fund to Juilliard, for my mom.
When did you know you were activating? How long did it take you to get control and understand your gifts after activation? Can you see your own?
JARVIS immediately projected the document the two of them had been arguing over since he set foot in the lab this morning.
Since that should be fairly obvious from the title, he just hummed and took a sandwich, too. With me?
Clint focused on the not-paper in front of him. I hate not being able to hear. I find it distressing. You can play music to them through your StarkPhone.
Tony just shot him a look. Because, seriously, he was smarter than that. Clint blew out a breath and kept reading.
How much do you like dressing like a woman? Dresses and skirts are a no. I actually like eyeliner. That said. Clint chewed on his lower lip for a few moments then sought clarity.
Fuck a baby into me? That kind thing? I donated to some friends about eighteen years ago. Then he frowned. This is me guaranteeing that you can.
But this is part of the whole me being me problem, so indulge me. Clint stared at him for a long time like he was considering not doing it but then he inclined his head.
He pulled out the box and set it on the table in front of Clint. Clint opened the box. His eyebrows shot up and he picked up the collar, twisting and bending it to test the flexibility.
Either end of the tube was covered with thick gold titanium caps, connected to heavy clasps. Not all of him, obviously, but enough so that we can always find you.
So that you can always talk to him, if you need something from us. Two hours? And while your strength is pretty good, we probably need to work on your flexibility and stamina.
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